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In Loving Memory

Gary memorial

 

To my beloved Nightwatch Family,

It is with a deep sadness that I write to you all today. Gary Davis, our beloved friend, mentor and leader, passed away Monday, August 7th, 2017. After months of declining health, he passed peacefully and without pain in his home. He was surrounded by loved ones at the time of his passing and although many of us were not physically present, there is no doubt he felt and knew our love was with him as he ventured on to the next leg of his journey.

Gary was an incredible spirit. He meant a great deal to many of us, myself included. This loss leaves a profound sadness for many of us. However, I take great comfort in knowing that Gary himself approached his final days as he had approached his life: forever curious, and with the comfort of his steadfast spirituality. As he has told me in the past month, “This is just the next step of my adventure.”

Gary was unlike anyone I’ve known. He was a gentle and generous soul. He was eclectic, and had a vast array of life experiences and lessons which he freely shared with those around him. He loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, was an avid NPR listener, and was always learning. I was always astounded by his vocabulary- he had a way of inserting antiquated and bizarre words into conversation that was both humorous and baffling. The irony is not lost upon me that as I write this, I cannot possibly begin to find the words to capture the essence of his spirit and what he means to all of us.

Although he is no longer physically with us, he lives on through all of us- through the lessons he has taught us, through the mission that is at the heart of what brings all of us at Nightwatch together, through our love for one another.

If I know anything about Gary, I know that he wouldn’t want us to be paralyzed by sadness and grief. I also know that he would understand, accept and walk with us through the pain and mourning processes we may find ourselves sitting with, however that may look like for us. We will all experience this loss differently, and that’s okay. It’s important for us to know that none of us are alone as we venture through this. If anyone needs extra support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to any of us on the Nightwatch Staff. It’s okay to lean on each other. After all, isn’t that what Nightwatch is all about?

Gary, our dear friend. We love you, and we will miss you terribly. But above all, thank you. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us over the past decade- it truly was an honor and a gift. May the next leg of your adventure bring you joy and peace, and know that you are deeply loved.

In Community,

Mikaila

Alas, this will be the last blog I will be posting for Operation Nightwatch.

You all knew that with my impending retirement the end was coming soon. But the plan had been for me to wrap up my Nightwatch tenure neatly at the end of June.

But you know what old Robbie Burns said: “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men / Gang aft a-gley . . .”

The fact is, I have not been feeling in tip-top heath for at least the last couple of months. I would have some days when I felt absolutely rotten.

In the last couple of weeks, though, things have taken a real tailspin. Most days now I feel rotten. My doctor ordered tests. The diagnosis: liver cancer.

My energy and stamina are at an ebb. It now takes half the day just to get me jump-started. So I have to cut back on activities just because I can’t do them anymore.

The Nightwatch Board of Directors is on the cusp of naming my successor at Executive Director, and we hope to accelerate the original transition plan by getting him in place by the beginning of June, rather than the beginning of July.

The new ED may pick up where I left off in posting these blogs. It certainly would be a good way for you to get acquainted with him. But blogging isn’t specifically in the ED’s job description. I started doing it years ago basically because I enjoyed doing it (besides the fact that I thought they would give you a more in-depth insight as to what we do at live long and prosperNightwatch).

And I want you to know it truly was a pleasure.

As for my diagnosis? I know you’ll all be concerned for me, and I surely do appreciate that. But I’m actually rather glad they’ve finally put a name to what’s been physically been getting me down, because now a treatment plan can be developed and we can tackle it head-on. As long as I breathe, life will remain an adventure, and I’m interested to see where this new experience will take me.

And in the end, thanks to you all for keeping the light shining.

At our annual Memorial Service Friday evening I prefaced the service with these remarks:

On the Christian calendar this is Good Friday, on which is observed the death by crucifixion of Jesus.

It is an awful story, of course, and the emphasis of the Good Friday story is how the world could possibly do this or allow this happen.

Allusions have been made likening the beaten, humiliated Jesus on the cross to the Suffering Servant who is spoken of in the Old Testament’s book of Isaiah who is described like this:


“he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
   nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. 
He was despised and rejected by others;
   a man of suffering and acquainted with infirmity;
and as one from whom others hide their faces
   he was despised, and we held him of no account.” 

In the ages-old liturgies for Good Friday, there is an part of the service known as “The Reproaches.” One reader details one or another of the abuse heaped upon Jesus in the last hours of his life, and then that’s interspersed by the responses of another who bewails, “Is it nothing to you, all you who pass by? What have I done to you? How have I offended you? Answer me!”

The emphasis the Church has elected to make in its approach to Good Friday is to take the story and ask, “How could we possibly allow this to happen to God?” But I think God would rather up-end that question and ask, “How could we possibly allow this to happen to a fellow human being?”

How could we possibly allow this to happen to a fellow human being?

Yet look: we allow such neglect and abuse to happen to our fellow human beings all the time.

That’s why we’re here this evening.

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In life, those we remember this evening may themselves have been “acquainted with infirmity,” perhaps even “despised and rejected,” “held of no account.”

But tonight we will not just pass by. We will remember. And not only remember, but honor.

And bear in mind (in the words of Jay Crowley) that “all our crucifixions are but resurrections unborn.” 

Science has now shown that myriads of species—perhaps as low as bacteria—have “languages” by which they may communicate with other members of their own. But human beings remain at the pinnacle of the language-makers, able through our words to express even the finest of nuance in feeling and concept.

How has it come about, then, that we have then come to discount and neglect this most beautiful gift?

Language, by its nature, facilitates relationship.  When people cease to talk to one another, relationships suffer, atrophy and die. And with the poisonous factionalism and hyper-partisanship characterizing discourse, that’s exactly what we see happening today.

Stories are told of “back in the day” when, as much as Republicans and Democrats in Congress disagreed with each other on politics and policy, they still developed strong personal friendships with each other. Why, Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill regularly had dinner together! Today, there are those who have come to Congress who never have and “by principle” never will even acknowledge the existence of some “on the other side of the aisle.”

Well, that’s a “principle” that sucks. Forasmuch as this intransigence has affected the formal workings of the political sphere, through talk radio, social media, and internet outlets the extreme factionalism has trickled down to warp much ordinary human interaction. Litmus tests have been set for whether I will deem you a worthy human being anymore. It’s become okay for even the strength of family bonds to be broken if one disagrees with the votes other family members have cast, or holds a different view of God than they do, or simply holds a set of opinions that may be different.

And that’s not just crazy. Anything that sets about to so tear asunder human relationships is nothing short of evil.

Here’s where language comes in. It can be used as a blunt instrument to attack. But as rich an instrument as it is, it can alternatively be used to build bonds of understanding.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about a movement that had arisen among some residents in Lents to rid their neighborhood of the ministrations of our Mobile Hospitality Center because they believed its presence was only making worse the homeless problems they were experiencing there. I first became of the breaking sentiment through a small barrage of critical messages that were posted on Nightwatch’s Facebook page. Those were then followed by some menacing voicemails left for us late at night. Then I started receiving emails and phone calls.

Because the emailers and phone callers identified themselves, I was able to communicate with them. While it would have easy for me to either dismiss them as “yahoos” or “cranks,” I knew it was important for me to listen. Unsurprisingly, I discovered that their complaints were being fed by a lot of misinformation. At the top of their list was the belief that Nightwatch was comprised of a bunch of carpetbaggers from the suburbs who elected to come to Lents from their safe neighborhoods to feel good about themselves serving the poor, but with no regard to the people who actually lived there. There were also misconceptions about what we did during our two-hours-per-week operation. A couple of complainants characterized our work as “throwing street parties for drug addicts.” Many believed that all the litter they found in the neighborhood was due to Nightwatch not picking up after itself. There were even those who believed our vehicle was needle-distribution van.

But there was more listening than that I needed to do. I needed to hear what underlay all the anger the residents in Lents were feeling. While I believed that Nightwatch was being scapegoated, I couldn’t deny the anger was real and it had to be sourced somewhere. What I heard were some stories about the dimensions of the homelessness problem that were truly horrifying. About human waste being discarded just about anywhere, for instance. About campers carelessly disposing needles around elementary school playgrounds. And finally, about the residents imploring the city over and over and over again to do something about the problem, yet being left with the feeling that they were being totally ignored.

In electing to talk with our detractors, I was able first of all to dispel some of the myths they carried about Nightwatch. Many didn’t even know we had serving in Lents through lets talkthe Mobile Hospitality Center for as long as six years. Until recently, we operated so “under the radar,” with no evident disruption to the community, that they didn’t even know we were there. Furthermore, they didn’t know we only found ourselves in Lents because churches in Lents asked us to come help them there, and that practically all the volunteers that serve through the MHC were their own neighbors.

But in listening to them, I was also able to affirm that they were justified in their outrage of the abuses some of the campers were perpetrated. If they were engaged in any illegal activity, there was no reason to treat them any differently than they would anyone who was breaking the law—they should call the police. As far as the alienation they felt from the city because of its responsiveness, I told them I was more on their side than they no doubt realized. I told them I believed the folks in Lents were being treated unfairly by the city, that they never were paid the same attention than were the residents in the Pearl District, Eastmoreland, or the West Hills. As a blue-collar neighborhood they were invested with the same care, and if if they staged that protest against City Hall, I would be among the first to stand up with them.

Did it make a difference? I can say it did for me personally. I can draw all sorts of conclusions about people (all nasty ones) when all I have is their anonymous social media postings to go by. Adversaries take on a entirely new dimensionality when you get to know them. You can see the possibility of even becoming friends.

But it looks like it made a difference in other ways as well. Last Tuesday evening, a “town hall” meeting was scheduled in Lents to address the homelessness crisis, and it sounded like a good number were going to attend “loaded for bear,” with Nightwatch being raised as a convenient target. In the course of my conversations with concerned Lents neighbors, I had been asked whether they could share my responses with others. Apparently, the grapevine distributed them widely. When the meeting came, a detailed presentation of the issues didn’t even mention Nightwatch. Only at the very end was it even alluded to when a gentleman rose and said, “You know how to get rid of the homeless problem in Lents? Get rid of that van that distributes the needles.” He was shouted down.

One of the things I told those in Lents with whom I communicated was that, in sympathizing with their concerns, we at Nightwatch would strive in all that we did to do better.

Especially in these times of high partisanship, in terms of keeping lines communication open, that’s something we all could say.

We could all do better. 

It had been quite a while since I had last seen Evan. Fifteen months, he said, in his estimation.

So what do you say when someone has been away from the Hospitality Center for so long? “Hey, Evan, good to see you”? But the fact that he was back taking advantage of our services might imply this was not good news for him.

Indeed, it turned out that it wasn’t.

It was clear to anyone who ever talked with Evan that he had a lot going for him. He spoke rationally. He evidenced a strong sense of personal responsibility. He didn’t use any substances. And he worked—in typically Labor-Force jobs where the duration was limited and the pay was barely minimum wage, but he would have considered himself a “moocher” if he didn’t work.

And somebody else had observed that about Evan too, because roughly fifteen months ago, a friend of a friend who ran a construction crew hired Evan full-time as a laborer. By scrimping, Evan was able to save enough to get into an apartment and also buy a car. It was enough for Evan to feel he had it made.

But all the hard physical labor took its toll. His back went out, then his shoulders, then under a tendonitis diagnosis he was told not to lift more than ten pounds—ever.

You’re pretty useless as a laborer if you can’t lift more than ten pounds.

His personal convictions prevented Evan from applying for worker’s comp. He knew the business of the contractor he was working for was itself struggling financially and he didn’t feel right about filing a claim. “You don’t do that to a friend of a friend,” he said.

Things rapidly domino-ed after that. He lost his apartment and car in the same day. His laptop malfunctioned and he had no money to repair it. While he did have a phone, he lost the charger to it, putting it out of commission. And the reason he now found himself back at Nighrwatch was that a girlfriend he was staying with finally asked him to leave.

I asked him whether he currently had any source of income and he said, “No.”

Some people have simple answers for dealing with the poor and homeless. They’re all just freeloaders, right? Or have purposely chosen a life of dissipation by taking the avenue of alcohol or drugs? Or are just overall wastrels and ne’er-do-wells?

Then explain someone like Evan.

A congressman even proposed this week requiring work for food stamps, with no exceptions. He even had the audacity to say that the Bible justified him in his position.homeless sign

But then how do you account for someone like Evan, who would like to work but can’t? Or those with mental illness who have not the capability of keeping focused on a job? Or single parents who can’t afford child care costs and transportation expenses to allow them the freedom to get to work (and, of course, we know that child-rearing isn’t itself a job)?

I used to say that Nightwatch was a place of last resort for those who had nowhere else to go. As Evan’s plight indicated, that still remains very true.

Ultimately if there is to be hope for folks like Evan, the system is going to have to create ways to accommodate them.

Until then Nightwatch will still be here.